life, inspiration,letting go
Drug trafficking generates greater dollar revenues but women are far more profitable. Unlike a drug, a human female does not have to be grown, cultivated, distilled or packaged. Unlike a drug, a human female can be used by a customer again and again. ~Kara Siddartah
Lately, missing teenagers has been the headlines of newspapers and the news. The million dollar question being, where are our children disappearing to?.
The surge of covid has led to the downfall of many businesses except for one or two among them being human trafficking. This means that it is making the vulnerable even more vulnerable because of the economic constraints. In short it has stripped them naked to the extent of being vulnerable for criminal activities. The new virus has led to the lockdown of many countries and schools and with it has come with children staying at home and using the internet more for studies or socializing. This preventive measures have put many children/ teenagers on the spotlight for online grooming. A good example is the recent case of the six missing girls who were lured via the social media by unknown foreigners.
The internet during the pandemic has played a good platform for gaining new victims as almost everyone is using it for their daily routines. This poses danger not only to our children but also adults as well since this illicit crime involves everyone (as mentioned in the last post on grooming.) When it comes to children/ teenagers, they can be sexually exploited online through pornographic material, sexting or instances in which they are asked to send inappropriate images or videos of themselves. This may also happen with adults who are trying to make ends meet after probably losing their job.
It is also worthy to note that with the lockdown, it has made it impossible for vulnerable victims to escape from their predators. Many victims have been locked in houses where they are forced into sexual exploitation. This has also made it impossible for authorities and rehabilitative centres reach them.
The question that is bothering many parents right now is to protect children and prevent this from happening.
Controlling a teenager can be difficult sometimes especially if it’s a hardheaded one since you can’t access their phones or invade their privacy. This however should not stop parents/ guardians from monitoring the online activities of their children. A good way of monitoring your children is by using the parental control software. This is actually a smart and effective way for busy parents/ guardians of controlling the things their child is exposed to. This may prevent them from accessing inappropriate sites and apps.
Secondly, it is best if parents have one on one talk with their children. Educate them on the pros and cons of the internet. Let them understand that they can be exploited without their knowledge and that they should be caution on the things they post on social media. Parent/ guardians should create a strong bond between themselves and their children so that they may not hesitate to inform them on any suspicious persons trying to get information about them. This may also help them from feeling isolated thus seeking attention somewhere else.
Adults should also be cautious about the information they provide to persons who they are just acquaintance to on the internet. They should also do research on any enticing jobs especially those that involve them moving outside their country offered by such persons.
The most important thing of them all is to report any suspicious persons or activities to the authority or any anti-human trafficking NGO. Did you know that there exists an anti-human trafficking unit at the DCI? The Anti-human Trafficking and Child Protection Unit (AHTCPU) deals with child trafficking and child sexual exploitation. They can be approached to report any such incidents through:
Address
P. O. BOX 30036 -00100 Nairobi, Kenya
Email: info@dcicpu.co.ke
phone: 116,112
Or write an online report to them via: incidents@ke-cirt.go.ke
The various NGOs include : 1.) HAART which was founded in 2010 as a non-governmental organization dedicated to ending all forms of human trafficking in Kenya and East Africa. Their details are:
Address
P. O. Box 26893 – 00504 Nairobi, Kenya
Email: info@haartkenya.org
Phone: +254 738 506 264
2.) TRACE KENYA which was founded in 2006 to help rescue, rehabilitate and re-integrate women, youth and children who were victims of human trafficking. It works closely with the Kenya National Commission on Human Rights (KNCHR) on issues of counter human trafficking, including referrals cases for follow-up. Their details include:
Email: infor@tracekenya.org
Phone: +254722499302
These are not the only ones, there exists other NGOs dealing with human trafficking that are ready to assist the victims. Let’s focus on creating awareness and preventing this degrading activities.
Grooming is the process in which traffickers identify their victims and control them for the purpose of human trafficking. It can also be said to be the process traffickers use to control and manipulate someone for the purpose of human trafficking. Child grooming on the other hand is the befriending and establishing of an emotional connection with a child and/or the family with the aim of sexual abuse.
Who can be targeted? Anyone can be a target to grooming by traffickers. From children, teenagers to adults.
STAGES OF GROOMING. 1.Targeting a victim. Traffickers target victims that are vulnerable. The vulnerability can be in the form of emotional and financial needs or even low self-esteem. The hunt for victims usually involves the use of tools like the social media to identify the most suitable and approachable persons.
2.Gaining trust and information. This is done through casual conversations between the victim and the traffickers. In some cases, the traffickers engage with the family of the victim to avoid any suspicion thus they use the art of discipline at all times. This process aims at collecting information about the victim so as to know their needs and how to fulfill them.
3.Filling the need. After recognizing the needs of the victim, traffickers begin to fill them through gifts, attention, affection, emotional support, illegal substances in the case of addicts, financial support among other things. This builds a dependency relationship as the victim starts to rely on the trafficker to fulfill their needs.
4.Isolation. The traffickers create time to be alone with the victim. They isolate the victim from family members and friends. This offers a good chance to manipulate them as their try to show them that they care and love them more than their family or friends.
5.Development of a sexual relationship. At this stage, the traffickers begin to quench the curiosity of victims through feelings of stimulation to advance the sexuality of the relationship. This provides a chance for the offender to shape the sexuality of the victim especially if the victim is a child. The offender at this stage urges the victim to keep their relationship a secret.
6.Abuse begins. At this stage the offender starts to claim the favours or services they offered to be repaid. It may start with sending indecent photos which may be used as blackmail. The traffickers may also demand sex as payment.
7.Maintaining control. In order to maintain control, the trafficker may use violence, emotional blackmail or threaten to harm the victim or their family.
How then can one identify if an individual is being groomed? To begin with, if you are a guardian or parent if you notice that your child has new things out of the ordinary, enquire about it. From the discussion, traffickers lure their victims by providing them with things they need thus it is wise to investigate from whom they get these new things. It is key to note that parents can be groomed hence parents should enquire more into details about unknown persons who willingly offer to help your children either by scholarships or financially.
Secondly, the change of behavior and attitude or disconnecting themselves from others is another sign. If a child starts acting in an unusual manner then it’s wise to try and understand why. Most victims are made to understand that their families and friends don’t care about them hence will start distancing themselves. The victims may even change their attitude towards people they surround themselves with because of being brainwashed.
New friends. If an individual starts going out with unknown persons of questionable behavior then this may be another sign. Traffickers often connect their victims with other potential victims and may at times ask these victims to look for other friends who can be exploited as well.
If you happen to suspect that a child or individual is being abused in any way or being groomed contact the authorities via the free toll 116112 or
Report online via http://www.ke-cirt.go.ke
incidents@ke.cirt.go.ke
#createawareness
#stophumantrafficking
#stopslavery
Spending the rest of your life with the love of your life is everyone’s dream. It’s the beginning of a new chapter and you’re ready to venture into the unknown future together creating new memories. The vows, ‘do you take….. to be your lawfully wedded wife/husband to have and to hold……. till death’. From this, the individuals acknowledge and accept the obligations that they have to fulfil each others physical, emotional and intimacy needs.
Every relationship has it’s up and down but when it comes to an abusive one to what extent is one willing to ‘hold’?.
Today I was to talk about abuse and toxic relationships which isn’t something new. Not once or twice have we heard tales of a painful partner being abused to the extent of near death or death itself. I often find myself wondering why people still stay in such relationships. A friend of mine once told me that the first instinct of a human being is self preservation and maybe that’s why the fight or flight hormones are triggered in moments of imminent danger. I was hoping to get an answer on why some people would rather stay in such a relationship than set themselves free.
In a marriage situation for example, one of the reasons that come up is for the sake of the children. First of all I think this isn’t sufficient enough since if one is thinking about the children I think it should be beyond the notion they have to grow in a complete family. Children always copy the behaviour they see others do and if a child is raised in such an environment I think they’ll grow up knowing it’s okay to be abusive. Further, that kind of relationship may affect them negatively in that they might be psychologically and emotionally influenced especially if they suffer the same fate as the abused parent. Just the other day I heard on the radio that a woman was being badly beaten by the husband who was a drunkard. That the husband even chocked their child. The lady was admitted however she lives in worry since the whereabouts of a children are unknown.
No parent would want their child to experience such treatment. Thus it still remains a mystery why anyone would want to stay around. Perhaps it’s fear because they’re being threatened?. I believe such people should be given all kinds of support to give them the strength to speak up. Stories of men being beaten are rather rare and the reason is being they’re never reported. The reason may be because of stigmatization by the community.
Other reasons that manifest are;
So what can we do? The best thing is to always give support to these victims and listen to them. Avoid judging. There are different groups and organizations created to assist such people for example;
1.Childline Kenya
Resource Focus: Abused Children
What they provide: Childline Kenya provides a 24-hour toll-free helpline for any Kenyan child to report abuse and receive counseling. The organization, through childline 116, rescues children from their abusers, provides them with post-trauma counseling and if need be, provides medical care, education, and legal support.
Location: Kirichua Lane, Nairobi County
Helpline: The helpline (116) is operational round the clock while their email is active during working hours. They also have a Whatsapp line- 0722116116, through which you can chat with them anytime between 7 am and 6 pm.
Website: www.childlinekenya.co.ke
Resource Focus: Abused women
What they provide: GVRC-K is a nonprofit charitable trust of the Nairobi Women’s Hospital seeks to bring back meaning and hope to abuse survivor’s lives and their families. The trust provides free medical care and psychological support to victims of gender-based violence.
Location: Nairobi Women’s Hospital, Hurlingham
Helpline: 0719638006
Website: www.gvrc.or.ke
3.Resource Focus: Anyone who needs a litsening ear.
What they provide: Niskize is a 24hr counseling call center that was created by former KTN presenter Kendi Ashitiva and her partners to give people an opportunity to let out feelings and emotions in a safe non-judgemental place! The main mission of this outfit is to reduce the stigma around counseling and get people talking to counselors at the touch of a dial.
Helpline: 0900 620 800
Website:https://web.facebook.com/pg/purity.kendi/about/?ref=page_internal
Judges 16:15-17. So she said to him,"how can you say that you love me, when you don't mean it? You've made a fool of me three times and you still haven't told me what makes you so strong."She kept on asking him, day after day. He got sick and tired of her nagging him about it that he finally told her the truth.
More often than not we find ourselves confiding in the people who we trust and are closest to us. We share our good moments, our dark days and sometimes even the skeletons in our closet. We do this because we believe that they always have our best interest at heart especially if they are always there whenever we need them. However what happens when they use this against us?
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer goes the saying but what if your enemy is the person you keep so close to your heart? I have had my own share of such betrayal and believe me it’s not a good feeling. A good example is the story of Samson. I don’t really know if he trusted Delilah because we are told he told her the truth because of her nagging but maybe he gave her the benefit of doubt after all, she was the love of his life. I mean,it’s normal for couples to share things since the relationship is founded on trust right? This story reflects our daily predicaments because at times we try to weigh how people will react especially if you don’t tell some things. Am not talking about acquaintances but people who we tell everything.
I often hear people say that a secret can never be between two people or that you are just meant to go with it to the grave and perhaps they’re right. I think that we should always be careful with whom we open up to. How loyal are the people you confide in and how can you know find out? Generally, it’s really hard to know cause it’s not like in the movies where some risk their lives for others to prove it. In reality it’s only Jesus who died for us and perhaps even family can do that because they love you.
Sometimes people find themselves in difficult situations and they can do anything to get out of it. They can use information about you for their own benefit. To Delilah, maybe she really needed the money that’s why she didn’t decline the offer. What I learn from this is that your enemies can use the people you trust to get to you. I don’t really know what to think of people who would do it but sometimes I wonder…. Should we fit ourselves in their shoes? Did they really have no choice? All in all I think it’s always wise to think if it’s worth it since such betrayal will destroy the relationship you have with a person.
When we are betrayed all sorts of emotions always rush in:shock,anger, sadness, surprise, disappointment to name but a few. So how do you deal with it?…. The first thing that can come to mind is to take revenge but that is never the best way to deal with it. It’s best to understand what you’re feeling this way you may be able to take some time for yourself to let it subside and avoid doing something that you may regret later.
Another step is to try and understand why the person did it. This can answer all your questions of why and how. It can help to clear all doubt of whether such a person is trustworthy or not. This can also help you to answer the question of whether the relationship can be salvaged.
The most important of them all is to seek professional advice especially if it affects your health. This will prevent illnesses like depression. It is also wise to forgive. Yes I know it can be hard but sometimes you have to do it for yourself. Letting go of all the hurt and other feelings is good for you in every way.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
Steve Maraboli.
To avoid such situations ensure that if you are to confide in someone,let it be someone you know well like your family. This way you can circumvent the Delilahs in your life. If you are not really sure about the person,try to learn their behavior. This can help you understand what kind of a person they are and how they can react in a given situation. You can also choose not to share sensitive information about yourself altogether that way you can always be safe from unnecessary heartbreaks. You can also seek divine intervention to guide you into knowing who is really trustworthy.
Children can be a good source of joy in our lives even when they get naughty. It’s amazing how they see the world…… So different from us. Their enthusiasm to even the most little things is something to admire. Am sure one of the most proud moment of parents is when they hear their children say, “I want to be like mom/dad when I grow up “. They see role models and heroes in us …that we can beat the boogeyman under their beds because we are their superman and superwoman.
30the July 2020 marked the twentieth anniversary of the Palermo Protocol (an instrument against human trafficking). The battle against this heinous activity began many moons ago but it is still on the battle list. It mainly targets the most vulnerable who are mostly women and children. Generally, children make up a quarter of all victims of exploitation and trafficking. A survey conducted by the Europe Commission found that in more than 20500 recorded cases minors make a quarter while 68% are female victims.
This is one of the most excruciating activities not only to its victims but the world as a whole. It is sad to know that children who are so innocent and pure can go through pain under our noses. However, what I consider even more painful and saddening is that some parents…people considered as second gods to these little ones are their ‘boogeyman’!
How about now with the pandemic? The corona pandemic may be thought to hit the business really hard. However, it has managed to maneuver against it. The perpetrators have now gone from outdoors to indoors. This simply means that with the ban of gatherings and curfews the victims are taken from the streets and the business continues inside closed doors. This has made it hard for organizations to reach these victims Moreover, it has now become an online business where by child pornography is sold.
It is prudent for us to know that we cannot always leave this to the authorities. What am trying to say is that if you as an individual are able to spot any signs of trafficking be it sexual exploitation, forced labour ,domestic servitude do not hesitate to raise awareness. From studies gathered most of the signs include but not limited to:
For more knowledge on how to spot any signs kindly visit the following sites:
For us to wish for a better world for our children we have to make a difference. Be the change then start the change. It is never too late to bring hope to our children, as they look up to us let them find hope in our eyes.
Help save our women and children not forgetting our men who also find themselves stuck in this web. Let’s fight to keep their wings to fly high and fulfill their dreams. #Save our children. #Stop the traffic. #Beat the boogeyman!
I bet we’ve all heard the story about a certain lady who had a cat as a pet which she loved a lot. One day she left her baby with it and left for the market. On her return, she found the cat licking it’s bloody paws and her baby was nowhere to be found. Full of range and disappointment she beat it to death only to find out later that it protected her baby from a poisonous snake.
We have once found ourselves making decisions out of sudden emotions without having a second thought. This impulsive behavior has always made us regret doing something that cannot be undone like that lady. It’s perfectly normal to have certain reactions especially if something unexpected happens for example getting fired, being betrayed not getting the results we want and so on. However, it is always not good to act on impulse as it may have dire consequences.
It is for this reason that we must learn how to control our emotions. Firstly,do not react immediately when you realize that your emotions are out of control you can walk away to cool off. This way you may be able to clear your mind and think well. I personally do this as it helps me to compose myself so that when I go back to the situation I’ll be aware of myself and the surroundings. If this does not really suit you, you can always take deep slow breaths until you stabilise the overwhelming impulse. This small exercise will help you be more at ease and you’ll feel your muscles relax and your heartbeat return to normal. (This is highly recommended.?)
Find a way to let it all out, locking in your emotions is not and is never a good way to control them. This is simply because the build up will someday explode and that’s the last thing you want. If it helps, always talk to someone you trust and let them know how you feel. Talking about your feelings has always been a good remedy it works all the time. This can be helpful as well since you’ll be opening up room for another opinion. This may help you to weigh things and get the best solution for your situation.
Take time to listen. Patience is a virtue. Taking time to listen to an explanation is always the best way to clear a misunderstanding. It also builds your relationship with others. This clears all doubt one has.
To be able to always manage your emotions at all times, it’s best to adopt the habit of doing simple routines like understanding your emotions. This way you’ll be able to encourage yourself into surrounding yourself with positive energy. For example, if you wake up at the wrong side of the best, try to stay positive and smile often. Studies explain that if you smile often it may trick your mind 😇
Love is one of the most beautiful feelings of mankind because with it comes happiness. Who wouldn’t want that. Whether it’s Eros, Philia, Storge or Agape we all desire some. However, fortunately or unfortunately there is a kind that always subsides for example the Eros but never the Agape.
The love of God to mankind is eternal and unfailing. It is the kind that will always be there no matter what. God has shown his love to us over and over despite our sinful ways or whether we fail to acknowledge it.
Mathew 18:12-13
"What do you think a man does who has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost? He will leave the other ninety-nine grazing and go look for the lost sheep. When he finds it, he feels far happier over this one sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not get lost.
In our day to day life, we end up doing things that upset God but his love does not dwindle instead he leaves the righteous to bring you back to him that’s how great his love is. To a layman, this may seem rather reckless because what if the ninety-nine get lost in the process? But the Bible reminds us that the angels rejoice over one sinner who repents. Luke 15:10. This kind of love is unquenchable because neither sin nor death is able to cease it.
Songs of Solomon 8:7
Many waters cannot quench love; neither can rivers drown it.
The sacrifice of his own son was the ultimate expression of his love. That is the extent of the kind of love that God offers. Even death could not hold it as he triumphed over it. It is the kind of love that will not shun you but make you whole….. Transform you into something new. A love that knows no colour or gender.
It is with this kind of love that I can have faith in my tomorrow for He knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future. Sometimes we may find ourselves in difficult situations but we should always remember that he has plans for us even we face this pandemic we should have faith in him. For he is our protector Psalms 91.
When we hear the word slavery, our minds rush back to the barbaric treatment of human beings as property. However, slavery can be in many forms and today I want to talk about our own enslavement. In our world today, it’s easy to not realise the things that we are slaves to a perfect example being technology. Don’t get me wrong with technology, new doors of impossibilities are opened but we at times find ourselves engraved to it without realizing it.
That aside, the past and regrets are what I want to talk about. I sometimes look at my past and with it comes fear…. fear of my own person. That I cannot do this or that. Sometimes we are slaves of our past and this holds us back because it creates self doubt and low self-esteem. But with time, I have realised that it is always best to think positive things about yourself, to prophesy that you are worthy despite everything. We should never allow any negative comments bother us.
I once asked a friend of mine, “would you ever change your past if you had a chance? “. His response is something I never expected. He said no and the reason is because the past taught him lessons…. Lessons that he would never want to forget. This may seem as just a simple thing to anyone but it holds something deep and worth to remember everyday. To me it meant more because from it I realised that I don’t have to let my mistakes and flaws hold me back but to let them be a reminder…… Just like a scar, it will always be there but something more lies beneath it… A lesson learnt.
It is said that experience is the best teacher and indeed it is. We should always make our mistakes the foundation to being a different person. I don’t meant that you should change who you really are but be a better version if yourself….. to learn to appreciate your achievement no matter how small and to open yourself to new experiences for your inner growth and to help others grow as well.
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